7 steps - it is finished- actually I am beginning.

It is finished? No, I am beginning.



step 1 - Acknowledge Faults - Limited up to 15 - DONE (see post from Sept 18, 2014)
step 2 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept. 20, 2014)
step 3 - Acknowledge Talents & Gifts - DONE (see post from Sept. 21, 2014)
step 4 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept 22, 2014)
step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror DONE ( see post from Sept. 25, 2014)
step 6 - Read aloud the Writing in step 5 DONE (TODAY - Sept 26, 2014)
step 7 - Embrace the Woman in the Mirror DONE


Sept. 18, 2014 - 10 days ago, I began a concise seven step self awareness & acceptance exercise. (outlined above)   One that has interfered with my thoughts, my activities and emotions as I pledged to look honestly at Suess. Thankfulness overwhelms at those interferences. I now have a concrete landmark upon which I can refer. A landmark that if I heed and act, can give me direction, clarity and assurance. Landmark that I can return to when confused and lost. A landmark of identity and worth. A landmark of Suess.

As women, the rush we call life, blurs our reflection. Demands from family, profession and our culture severely taint the woman in the mirror. My desire with this exercise was to wipe away the smudged prints from my reflection. As fingerprints on a mirror, my 'self' view of who I was born to be, had become distorted & unrecognizable. I was lost and unrecognizable.

With these 7 tasks, I wiped away years of misgiving and self -rejection. I decided out loud to forgive myself for my faults. I declared to my memory, my cells, my very essence the reveal of who I know that I know I am. The 7 steps are not the end. Alas, a new beginning begins with a single step. Cliche as it sounds, it is true. I begin today to be true to me. In love and grace, I choose me.

I am grateful for faults, personality, talents & gifts. I am grateful for the woman in the mirror. I declare to embrace the imperfect, eccentric, loud, loyal, accepting and compassionate writer that I am. Today, a new face lingers in my mirror. She is on a journey. She is imperfectly wonderful.

Thank you for reading along.

If you worked along side me on the 7 steps,  applause, applause applause!

Please share with me.

Cheers, hugs & love, Suess

I am not a photographer. I am not a marketer.

step 1 - Acknowledge Faults - Limited up to 15 - DONE (see post from Sept 18, 2014)
step 2 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept. 20, 2014)
step 3 - Acknowledge Talents & Gifts - DONE (see post from Sept. 21, 2014)
step 4 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept 22, 2014)
step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror DONE ( see post from Sept. 25, 2014)
step 6 - Read aloud the Writing in step 5 DONE (TODAY - Sept 26, 2014)
step 7 - Embrace the Woman in the Mirror


Today, I read silently my letter I wrote yesterday to the woman in the mirror. (Did not follow directions)

I thought I would react.
Perhaps weep
Gasp
Scream
and
then maybe smile.

Nothing.
Nothing registered.
Nothing.

Read it aloud, once more.Twice more. Three times. . . aloud, following the directions.

Amazement...
I did weep, gasp, scream and breath.
I did smile.
All three times.
Literally, Hearing the words my older self of today told my 33 year old self of yesterday, set a myriad of emotions into action.The audible version penetrated my usual stoic shell and ignited unadulterated release. Release into action and I affirmed my dogged decision to do that which I was created to do and that which I am most suited...write & speak.

 I am an author & a speaker. I am not a photographer. I am not a marketer. I am not business office staff.     I am not a medical receptionist. I am not a minister. I am not a day care teacher.
I am an author & public speaker.

All the other titles, I have lived. All the other titles, have gifted me rich experiences, amazing relationships, cruel pain and opportunities to choose joy. I am thankful for the "I am nots" which I embodied for a time. I am thankful mostly because they led me to the path upon which today, I walk.


Oh how I ache to communicate to other women the truth of acceptance and approval.

I ache to demonstrate to other women that listening to their voice, embracing their uniqueness to live out those whispers which resound inside their mind will lead them to a most fantastical life.

Re READ that last long sentence.

Re READ it again, read it to the woman in the mirror, except put your name in it:
"I ________ ache to demonstrate to you that listening to your voice, embracing your uniqueness to live out those whispers which resound inside your mind and only by heeding that call from within will you be lead into your most fantastical life."


Challenge: Write a letter to your younger self about the future. Encourage her to embrace that which comes and make it part of her journey. READ it aloud and let the powerful truth flow. Let your life begin.

Write to the Woman in the Mirror - A younger version - I chose age 33, the woman I was in 1996.

step 1 - Acknowledge Faults - Limited up to 15 - DONE (see post from Sept 18, 2014)
step 2 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept. 20, 2014)
step 3 - Acknowledge Talents & Gifts - DONE (see post from Sept. 21, 2014)
step 4 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept 22, 2014)
step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror
step 6 - Read aloud the Writing in step 5
step 7 - Embrace the Woman in the Mirror


Step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror - A younger version - I chose age 33, the woman I was in 1996.



Dear Woman in the Mirror,

You don't realize this but in 10 years you will be diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It will completely shock you because you will have finally lost 90 pounds. You will no longer be obese. You will also in this time be diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. You will also have a complete ankle replacement. Remember when you were 20, traveled to Norway and Sweden and went snow skiing? Remember falling down the ski slop? That injury eventually killed the ankle bone.

The cancer you will have is called Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) and small lymphocytic lymphoma (SLL). You will hear "treatable but not curable." Your kids will be 13, 14 and 18. You will become very angry and determined to live. You will create relentlessHOPE as your mantra. Since you are reading this, you make it into "non active" disease. Eventually you will gain back all your weight but then lose again 75 pounds. You will adopt a healthy eating pattern of low carb meals consisting of fresh green veggies, whole proteins, lean fish and very little red meat.

Cancer will come and cancer will go. Friends also will come and go. I won't tell you who sticks around and who leaves. You would never, ever ever believe me if I did. You don't know your friends or your family as well as you think. Enjoy who you have for this season...and don't be afraid to let them go. Embrace who comes. Release who leaves.

I can tell you ...that every thing you experienced you will put to use as you move forward in your life. EVERYTHING! I cannot stress enough that fact. Everything: hard, silly, negative, good, productive, interesting, shitty, fun, difficult, painful and joyful. Each element melts, molds and forms into you.

You are an amazing woman. You are a rich & eclectic myriad of experiences. You have been given a voice to encourage and empower. You will use it in ways you cannot imagine. Please listen to her. Listen to that voice you hear when you see that woman in the mirror. LISTEN TO YOU! You know your dreams & desires. You know your heart. Your know your faith and your doubts. I challenge you, dear one to compassionately accept and embrace the woman in the mirror. She is your best friend. She is your guide and your trustworthy companion. She is your lover & she is you.

No one else like her exists in this world. No one is better suited to care for you. Cancer tried to take her from you ...but TADAAAAA!!! You are living proof that living with cancer can be done with joy, with success and of course with relentless HOPE!


Cheers, Suess....from your woman in your mirror.

Step 4 - Affirm personality

I am challenged to take part of a self awareness healing exercise. 

step 1 - Acknowledge Faults - Limited up to 15 - DONE (see post from Sept 18, 2014)

step 2 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept. 20, 2014) 

step 3 - Acknowledge Talents & Gifts -  DONE (see post from Sept. 21, 2014)

step 4 - Affirm Personality - 

step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror

step 6 - Read aloud the Writing in step 5

step 7 - Embrace the Woman in the Mirror

Step 4 - affirm personality

Yesterday and the day before, I listed 15 of my faults and 10 talents /gifts. Today's exercise is to affirm my personality. Not sure I want to proceed. Not certain of HOW to proceed. Affirmation is difficult for many. Criticism comes easier.

Sigh....I will try.

Okay....I am loyal to my family and friends. I believe I hang on to relationships and value their worth. I am determined to live life happily yet I know that being flexible is almost mandatory in this life. Hard work is not scary and sometimes working hard at something provides me a needed escape. People who are different from me, are interesting and compel me to learn about their culture. I know that compassion rises out of my soul when people, animals or the earth hurt. Give me a few minutes of your time and I will draw you out of your shell and know about your story. Stories..whether written or spoken are my heartbeat. Words are life. My life is words.

Reader: Thank you for hanging with me thru the steps of this exercise. Only 3 more steps till I am finished. What have you done so far with your woman or man in the mirror?

Cheers, Suess

the drip, drop, drip, drop of HEALING -Step 3

I am challenged to take part of a self awareness healing exercise. 

step 1 - Acknowledge Faults - Limited up to 15 - DONE (see post from Sept 18, 2014)

step 2 - Affirm Personality - DONE (see post from Sept. 20, 2014) 

step 3 - Acknowledge Talents & Gifts - 

step 4 - Affirm Personality -

step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror

step 6 - Read aloud the Writing in step 5

step 7 - Embrace the Woman in the Mirror

step 3 - Acknowledge  Talents & Gifts 

Having listed 15 of my faults, my task today is to list talents and gifts. . . This exercise is not as easy as I thought. Discovering attributes I feel I possess daunted. Listing felt uncomfortable. Boastful. Uneasy. I could not match my faults list. . . the process of healing & health is a myriad of journeys. A maze, if you will of starts and stops. I have begun the journey. For that, I am grateful. 

Here goes . . .  

1. Loyal
2. Determined
3. Flexible
4. Decisive
5. Hard worker
6. Accepting
7. Like people from cultures different than my own
8. Compassionate
9. Able to connect with people
10. Good with the written word

Sigh....reflecting on those 10 traits, I'm pleased. I acknowledge I am those. Looking at the woman in the mirror, I smile. I repeated those traits several times and each time my smile broadened.

     "Listen, woman in the mirror to that which you hear. Listen. Allow the truth of affirmation to begin. Allow the drip, drop, drip, drop of healing sprinkle within."

Reader: If you are following along this small exercise, then I pray you too will let the drip, drop of healing trickle within your spirit. I would welcome a conversation with you...how are you doing?

Together in hope,

Cheers!
Suess

   

Sometimes your desire to be yourself is not successful.

I am challenged to take part of a self awareness healing exercise. 

step 1 - Acknowledge Faults - Limited up to 15 - DONE (see post from Sept 18, 2014)

step 2 - Affirm Personality 

step 3 - Acknowledge Talents & Gifts - Unlimited

step 4 - Affirm Personality

step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror

step 6 - Read aloud the Writing in step 5

step 7 - Embrace the Woman in the Mirror

step 2 - Affirm Personality 

Dear Woman in the Mirror,

   Sometimes your desire to be yourself is not successful. There are many reasons ( and a few excuses ) as to the reason this desire is not obtained. Yesterday you wrote of your faults. . . and there are nuggets of truth within those faults. You are human. You are not perfect nor without fault. Life has tainted and tarnished portions of you.

     

     Impatient, judgmental, grudges, intolerant, critical, unwilling to listen and/or forgive can on occasion describe you. These shortcomings may be true... yet those negative aspects reveal only one facet of your whole. It is good to acknowledge that which is uncomfortable and unpleasant, in order to change. Looking with honesty at the woman in the mirror creates an environment of possibility. In order to better oneself and rid oneself of undesirable traits, one must first be made aware. 

This list is a a good start. You did well by writing openly. You did look hard at the woman in the mirror. You did not shrink away from the negative. You seem strong enough to face your own ugly truths.   

 However, those negative traits are not the only thing that defines. You are more than . . . "impatient, judgmental, grudges, intolerant, critical, unwilling to listen and/or forgive." 

You are more. You are more. You are more. 

"Impatient, judgmental, grudges, intolerant, critical, unwilling to listen and/or forgive" are a few of a larger whole. Be aware. Be mindful. Listen to the sound & tone your voice. 

Today, if you are struggling, today if you falter, today if you make a mistake and embrace those negatives, talk to that woman in the mirror. When she appears before you, tell her aloud and clear so that this message sinks into the membranes of your cells: 

       

       "Suess, today at this moment, you are struggling. Today, was not your best day. Things overwhelmed and you reacted. Humanness prevailed. Your weakness peeked out from behind your strength and intercepted your responses. Not what you wanted... Not how you'd like to be. Know this, you 

        are more than your weakness. You are okay. Be kind to yourself and know that you do not always react  so negatively. You do not always lash out. Forgive yourself. Ask forgiveness of the other person. Make sure to accept your own forgiveness and if offered, accept the other person's forgiveness as well. Your intent was not hurtful even though that was the outcome. OK Suess, take a deep breath. Breath. In and out. In and out. Relax and allow the healing of forgiveness to flow. Breath. Breath. Muscles relax. Mind be still. Energy come. Spirit: embrace the truth. The truth that the mistakes of today are gone. If at all possible, let the sun set right this moment on your mistakes. Let the next breath allow you to begin again.  A new beginning is now. A new start is now. A new better response exists within you. Choose it now."    

As I tell myself, I also declare to you my reader: "You are more. You are more. You are more."

My faults . . .

hum....been challenged to list up to fifteen of my faults as part of a self awareness healing exercise.
writing them for the public was not part of the challenge. however, in light of consistent blog writing, a public lashing is the task for today.

step 1 - Acknowledge Faults - Limited: up to 15
step 2 - Affirm Personality
step 3 - Acknowledge Talents & Gifts - Unlimited
step 4 - Affirm Personality
step 5 - Write to the Woman in the Mirror
step 6 - Read aloud the Writing in step 5
step 7 - Embrace the Woman in the Mirror

step 1 -
sigh.... here goes...
                                         
                                                      Woman in the Mirror, you can be:

• impatient with waiting in lines & wanting to be first
• impatient with what you judge to be untrained employees
• judgmental of others when you disagree
• judgmental of others when your feelings are hurt
• able to stoically hold silent grudges when wronged
• able to loudly hold verbal grudges when wronged
• intolerant of women your same age that are not challenging themselves to be better
• intolerant of women younger than you that are not challenging themselves to be better
• very critical with yourself to finally finish your novels ( your dreams )
• very critical of others that have not finished their "novels" <-- whatever that is for them
• unwilling to listen when you feel afraid
• unwilling to listen when you are hurt
• unwilling to listen when you are angry
• unwilling to forgive first
• unwilling to allow healing

Well, the list was longer...but 15 the limit. Hum...how does that feel?

Not bad actually. Akin to cleansing an infected and dirty wound. Hurts in a good way because I know healing exists when bacteria is removed. Healing is only possible from the inside to the outside. Healing begins when I admit and allow the expose of 'dirt". 

Step 1 - done. 

Step 2 - tomorrow

Anyone brave to journey with me on this path of self awareness and healing? 

Anyone brave to do the 7 steps toward healing the woman ( or man ) in the mirror?

If so, send me a message and let's cleanse and heal, together! 

Lately, when I Write, I Wonder Will Anyone Read It...

     To have a blog is interesting. Although, I admit a bit daunting. Every time I write, I wonder if anyone will read it and if anyone will be touched by the words.

It was at the strong urging of several people that I created this blog. I have stopped, started, stopped and restarted and stopped and begun again. Embarrassed at times because I don't post every single day and when life gets hard, many times either the creative juices stop flowing or become rancid and acidic.
I don't want to write burning exposes on life. I feel dirty and cheapened when my words burn.

Yet,

honestly, my life is can be difficult. The dark nights linger lonely. The problems appear insurmountable.
The stresses weigh heavy and my faithful footsteps falter. I am no saint. I stumble. I fail. I cuss and I pray.
Usually all in one day.

Lately, there is much transition in my life. Much uncertainty. Great stress. Multitudes of questions.
Stoic and silent, answers remain nearly inaudible. I feel burned, raw, tired and fatigued.
My smile is weak. My resolve weaker. My faults and flaws loom larger to me than my gifts and my talents.

Most days, lately, I question every move I make. I second guess my decisions and question my ideas.

Barren in mind and shallow in thinking, I sluggishly wander.
I want to skip - I limp.
I should run - I stagger.
I hope to leap - I land with a thud.

I wonder, if I am alone with these thoughts and strain to feel alive.
I am afraid you will laugh if I share how I struggle sometimes.
Are you listening?
Are you reading?

What do you do when you feel empty?
What do you do when you run out?
Is anyone out there?

Today is a hard day.
Tomorrow is unknown.

I pray and hope and believe and yearn for the sunrise to filter.
I pray and hope and believe and yearn for the tomorrow to arrive.
I pray and hope and believe and yearn for me to awaken renewed in strength,
energized in body and fresh in mind.

Lately, when I write, I wonder will anyone read it. . .

Life is short..take time.

Life is
short

take time…to listen
love            passionately
laugh          loudly
enjoy          moments
smile           freely
&
relax           fully


that is all AnyOne remembers
that is all AnyOne wants to recall

when?

when life is over.

Memories
of
joy
sweet caresses
hugs, both single and group.
shared stories
shared laughs
shared love.

nothing
else
matters.

n
o
t
h
i
n
g

e
l
s
e

m
a
t
t
e
r
s

What I responded . . .

      On my last post, I wrote about a client who emailed me asking for ENCOURAGEMENT because she was DROWNING! She would follow the weight loss protocol well untill 10am and then after 10, have no self control. I know she gets up at 4am to care for an ailing husband. 

I deleted the very first part of the email because you'd have to be a Phase 1 dieter with my protocol to understand. Yet the rest of the email applies to any of us that are in the process of living. . . the process of healing.

"Encouragement? You bet. . .First I'd get two books. The Healing Codes by Dr. Alex Lloyd which Amazon sells and Because Its Your Life by Dr. Tran Chanh, founder of Ideal Protein, which I sell. Both are amazing books that I read yearly. And practice their advice/techniques.

There are many stessors and triggers in your life. Your husband, your life up North. Your life here. I only know a tad bit about the details but I know you are taking care of everyone but yourself. Usually we eat/gain weight when we are unhappy and stress. Not often do we over eat when we are in times of peace.

What happens at 10am? What happened in the past at 10am? Has something in your past occurred at 10am that made/makes you sad? Mad? Stressed? 

I usually have dieters take quiet time during the day/night with pen and paper and ask themselves in solitude:

WHEN did I start gaining weight and losing my health? When and where did it originate? What and when were the faint beginnings of me losing my health to weight gain and food addiction? 

Write the answers....just write. 

Food addicts have to learn and give themselves permission to control their urges....just as a smoker, drug addict or sex addict. We have to identify the long ago factors and situations where we buried the hurt and never allowed it to surface. Let it be felt and then give ourselves permission to heal, forgive ourselves, release the pain and allow an emotional scab to form. The Process of healing takes time. IF we have experienced some hurt/pain/death/trauma/tragedy and refuse to allow healing to that woman in the mirror, then it ebbs and flows with a life force of its own. Refuses to stay buried for long and makes itself known thru unhealthy urges, choices and cravings. Getting your appetite calmed down will help tremendously but you gotta do that by eliminating for a short season, carbs & sugars. Carbs & sugars create appetite surges and crashes requiring us to take in more carbs & sugars. 

 Okay my dear...let me know what you think..and when you want to pick up your products!!  Hugs! Suess"

Trying to be better and make good choices is not limited to weight loss. I made my advice to her unique and personal. Yet it applies to many. I know what I want when I am struggling: a listening ear, a strong hand to hang onto and solid advice that works.