Friday, October 3, 2014

She needed a HERO, so that's what she became






She needed a HERO, so that's what she became!


I read the above quote on social media.
Stopped.
Stared.
Let salty tears fall. 
Wiped tears, sat back deeply into brown leather and closed my eyes.

A hero?
A HERO?
A HERO?

Do I need a hero?                Yes, I think I do. 
YES! I screamed raw and hoarse in the hallows of my mind.

YET:
Have I ever considered becoming that HERO? 
Becoming that HERO to me?

hum....

silence. 

stillness. 

deafening quiet surrounded my thoughts.

the resounding answer echoed, hit the corners of my mind
fell
shattering my composure.


I had NOT considered becoming my own hero
Not until today.
Today.


Look at the woman in the mirror and declare to her:

YOU are my hero. 
YOU are my hero.
You ARE MY hero.

Deep breaths.
Slow, cleansing, relaxing and renewing breaths.

Tears fell - still
Smile broke - fresh
Eyes glisten - hope

My baby steps today. 
My baby hero steps begin.
Becoming that which I need. 

Tomorrow I will step once more until one day, I walk straight into my very own hero. 

I walk straight into 

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

shrapnel of self

shrapnel of self
bloodies as fragments 
fall and
shatter 
screams of hurt
betrayal echo
replicated 
on my steel hard heart. 

shrapnel
of self-esteem
of self-worth slouch
trodden underneath
accusation
trodden underneath
complaint

my insides outward
as anger
drains my energy
regret oozes taking joy in red tinged drops
bile as remorse odors my nose
bitterness seizes as vomit
sadness spews in short gushes

shrapnel of self
laying
in solitaire
sequestered
impounded
repossessed

nothingness within
nonentity remains
rest now o’ my soul
repose now o’ my spirit
ease and compose
linger inactive

till tomorrow

tolerate now a tranquility wash
accept a composure recommence

tomorrow
aim strive seek struggle once more
for a shrapnel reverse
in anticipation hope
to
exist intact
and in healing live
unabridged once more.