Cry of the Earth

 I.     

Alone. 

Solitary.

Staring abyss. Dimmed vision. Dull. 

I sat.

Watched the sun peek. 

Peeking out amidst high bellows of brilliantly white strewn clouds across blue heavens. 

Salty foamy water waves crashed at my feet. 

Ears heard a cry. A whine. A cry in the winds. Piercing my conscience, hauntingly beautiful. 

My soul stopped. The cry of the earth. The cry of the earth cried for me. 

Cried my name. 

The spirit of the earth manifested, yet invisible, I saw her. Welcoming and beckoning me, I hesitated.

With permission, she came to me. 

Hands out stretched. She stood me. Up I gazed deeply into her peace.

Mute, I stand and she spoke. 

Spoke. A ballad of all times, cascaded, permeated my being. 

Overwhelmed with her total acceptance, the earth stood before me.

Words halt. Silence flows. Heartbreak caverns inside me yet no sound emerges. 

"By your side, I long to take you into my body. 

Let me consume you. Get lost within me. Search my being and touch me.

Please. I beg you. 

Morph into me.

I

Eliminate the rawness. Take away your pain. 

Give you freedom. Give you rest.

I look. Your eyes hide. 

Masked by control, I see tears drip, drop, drip, drop in your soul. 

Your cheeks: so high, so dry and pretty, shine unscathed.

Your body sits composed and steady.

Your blood mingles with calm.

Your heart - a stoic beast. 

The mask of "I'm okay" reinforced with each breath.

You cannot be ok. You lie. You are not okay. "

I hear my voice, a strained croak. A sliver of me.

A glimmer of nothingness revealed, "I am not okay." 

My stilled questions echoed, unspoken, burned.

Their burning stench lined my spirit.

“How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with brokenness? 

How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with pain?

How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with abuse?

How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with disease?

How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with neglect?

How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with apathy?

How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with rejection?

How can one fragile fleshly human be okay with despair?

How

can 

I?

How 

can 

you?”

She heard the burning cries. She heard. The burning in my spirit. She heard. 

She is not afraid of my burn. She is not afraid of me. 

Engulfing the stench of my spirit she entered me.

Extinguishing the burn, Earth merged within me, penetrating.

"Come closer to me and be.

Come closer to me and dissolve.

Come closer and lift the virgin mask off.

Come closer and expose your truth behind the walls of self-protection. 

I am safe. I am gentle. Tender and soft, fall into my arms of love.

I will hold you while you break. Caress you. Protect you. 

Pour life and liberty over your raw, bleeding, pus filled emotions. 

Balmy oil of peace trickles in....while putrid vomit fear oozes out. 

Calming release flows into you as you come into me. 

Lay down your sweet head. Rest. Refresh. Renew.” 

I? I feel: faint faint faint stirrings. Scabs of protection, red tinged coverings:

a hidden healing begins. 

“Stay within me and heal. Stay within me...Within me heal and live. 

Stay within me and be not alone. I am here. I am here... for you.

I am with you. I am you. You are me.

Every moment. Every breath. Every beat. Every drop.

Every moment. Every breath. Every beat. Every drop.

We are not fully healed but we are on your way

We are not okay with your pain. 

We are not as broken as once we were. 

We are more than your brokenness. 

We are more than your pain.

We are.

We are finding the answers as we journey. 

We are bound by respect. 

We are tied by grace.

We are in love.

We are.

We are together. 

We are one. 

We are. 

We. "

 

Poodle chicks, Berkshire pigs, Nigerian goats and Pionus Parrots! Oh my!

I NEED: 10+ acres of land with a large fishable stock tank or on a fishable river or  lake...of course, with either gulf access via a canal or be within 5-7 miles of a beach.  

Reason: I need a FARM! I NEED!  Clutch of poodle chicks, drove of Berkshire pigs, herd of Nigerian goats,  American Paint Horses!!  I CAN DREAM!! A greens garden! A flower garden! Oh, a Harlequin great dane! And a Pionus Parrot! And a bit of room for bee hives and the occasional rescue creature.

House, cabins and outbuildings. A retail shop with creative works for sale as well as unique and organic pet supplies/food/accessories.

Pool with covered Florida lanai. Dreaming . . . dreaming. . . dreaming.

While I dream, I encourage you today- stop. Cease rushing around.For twenty minutes- close your eyes and dream. What would you have if you knew you could not fail? What is covered up in your busyness? What is in your heart of hearts? Your hopes? Your desires?

Life is so short. Dreams need to be birthed. Dreams are given for a reason.

Dream on.....and let your actions today BEGIN. BEGIN to prepare you to receive the reality your dreams.

relentlessHOPE Farm shall be a reality one day.

A place where folks can gather to refresh their spirits and soul. A gentle, kind, and tender place where adults with special needs can work/visit/belong. A place where those living with cancer can retreat/renew/be. A location for artists who need to recover/rediscover/recreate their own zest for creativity. A meditative/spiritual place where respect oozes, love permeates and life buzzes.

The hub? An event center for relentlessHOPE LIVE events to occur.

That's my dream . . . What is your dream?

Breeze. Birds. Frogs. Rain. Thunder. Breath.

The breeze cools me as I sit and listen. To what?
To the birds closing day chirp. The frogs darkening serenade.
The cadence of soft rain drip drop drop drip drop.
Rumbling thunder background.

The breeze cools me as I sit and observe. To what?
The suns offer of disappearing glances.
The clouds covering the burn of day.
The leaves respond to shifting air.
Colors deepening in shadow rest.

Evening approaches.
I close my eyes. To what?
To the distractions of activity.
Demons of demand.
Much calls my name.
Yet
I am immune. Isolated. Invisible.

The spirit of me relaxes.
Within my soul, I sense.
Breath and breath and breath.
Muscles ache from day tasks. Blood flows to repair. Heart beats in rhythm.
To life. To dreams. To loves.


Moments pass as healing flows.
Moments.
Moments in life to stop.
Moments in life to receive.

I yearn to be whole.
I ache to be free.

The breeze cools me as I sit and listen. To what?
To my life flow. My heart song. My dreams form.
Breeze. Birds. Frogs. Rain. Thunder. Breath.
My symphony. My sanctuary. An audience of one.

The Edge of Familiar

standing at the edge of familiar,
paused,
foot held still, midway through step
i & my motion cease.

turning my head,
i pursue
unspoiled light.
turning my head,
i pursue
virginity.

the ragged edge of dirty familiar versus
the trace pure beginnings of the unacquainted

competing.
beckoning.

within - an awaking.

retching, my senses heighten.
a desire to flee nauseates my innards.
numerous championing voices blow blustery confusion.

with foot cased in concrete, i am permanent.
permanently pursuing.

never capturing life as i desire.
never holding newness in gentle embrace.
never to taste sweet surrender
never birthing my now,  embryonic dreams.

standing at the edge of familiar, i cease.