I'd like know....from acts of service, to words of love, to gifts. WHAT helps you?

A client of mine wrote an email to me today asking for encouragement. I think she is very brave. To reach out to another human and honestly say, "I am struggling. I need boosting. Can you help?"

I have not responded to her. . . yet. 

If you know me at all, you know that "YET" is a favorite. A cherished word in which I'm enamored. A word crush, if you will. 

"Yet" defined: "besides, nevertheless, however" indicates something MORE. Indicates NOT finished. 

I will respond to her YET I want to think about my response. I know a little bit of her life and I want to tailor make my encouragement. Hem and outline it specifically. Border it so it contains truth that brings hope. One thing we don't do enough as friends: make our help, our helping hand, our advice and our support unique. Customized. Creative. Personal. 

(Please if I ever come to you for encouragement, oh dear god please do not tell me a generic 'feel-good'. When I am down please do not offer me some bland, overused, plaque cliche. If you do, I will reject it, feel much worse for having wasted my time with you and not come to you again. I will smile a plastic smile and say 'thank you' and then go away, turn off the lights, crawl under my desk and cry.)

We deserve and desire something tangible that actually helps our customized,  personalized pain. I understand she is overwhelmed and challenged by life. I know a few details. Shouldn't I give her concrete solid, firm advice that matters? I want to help. I desire to be true strength. My silence is nothing more than figuring out how to speak so she can hear. How to formulate a true expression of solidarity takes time. 

For me? I want someone to physically come along side and practically help me. I don't care so much about the words you say. I care that I have a warm body. Distance can prevent physical help...I live geographically distant from most of my support. The second aspect that speaks of encouragement to me is a card, a book, a photo, a bookmark. Again, a tangible. Something to which I can refer back when I am weak.  

 As soon as I determine what I am going to say to her, I will post it here. But first, will you share? How about you? What helps you the most? When you are facing life's grim side, the hard side, the hurtful & confusing side? What helps? I'd sincerely like to know....from acts of service, to words of love, to gifts. WHAT helps you?