The defeat of Past

Past listened and wondered. Past waited upon my appearance. Past’s task today: Simply grab. Grab and hold me. Hold me back and hold me down. Past is experienced in detours, delays and destruction. Past hoped I was ill suited for its attack.

This morning, turning a corner in my mind led me toward a familiar stench. In the middle of the mire, stood Past. Its Arms outstretched poised for contact. Stopping my Reactions, I stood firm. Eyes locked with Past, my thoughts rallied my muscles motionless. In the corner of my mind, Reaction loomed in the shadows. Reaction and its desires overturned my mind. Reaction strained against me to express.  Expressions of Reaction always presumed to be Right, yet were nothing more than feeble decoys of hope.

I remembered with thankfulness. I remembered that to conquer the hold of the Past, I must not React. I must Respond.  Respond with truth. Respond with self-protection. Respond with choices that I invent. Respond in Faith. Respond with inquiry.

Reaction would lend Past more power. Reaction handed Past the victory. From encounters previously, I knew Reaction, in reality exists only as my flowery clothed enemy. Reaction should not be given neither presence nor speech.

“Reaction,” I commanded, “retreat and leave me, now.”

Reluctant, the shift in my mind brightened as Reaction slunk. My thoughts cleared and the misty world of Past lessened. Breathing with decision, conscious streams of thought flowed as my voice found Presence. 

“Past! Why are you here? What is your purpose? State your Reason?  You are nothing but a shadow of Fraud.  You appeared in my life at this time uninvited and unwanted.” Loudly but not yelling, came my questions. (To yell is a Reaction attribute.)

Smiling to my self, the moment I questioned Past in depth I regained control.

Past, for all its boasting and showmanship quivers quite fragile upon confrontation. 

Response restores order and dignity. Response offers health and understanding. Response protects and raises self-esteem.

Past leered and felt the shift, as Perceptive gave my mind calmness.  Past readied for the onslaught of Truth that comes upon the appearance of Clarity of spirit. Silence followed.

 Past remained mute.

Again, I inquired.

“Past! Why are you here? What is your purpose? State your Reason?  You are nothing but a shadow of Fraud.  You appeared in my life at this time uninvited and unwanted.”

Mute.

And once more: “Past! Why are you here? What is your purpose? State your Reason?  You are nothing but a shadow of Fraud.  You appeared in my life at this time uninvited and unwanted.”

Mute.

“Past! Why are you here? What is your purpose? State your Reason?  You are nothing but a shadow of Fraud.  You appeared in my life at this time uninvited and unwanted.”

I squared my shoulders, cleared my mind, garnering Hope and Perseverance.  Oft time, to Respond in silence is the very best option. Silence can speak quite loudly.

Duel. Standoff.  Clash.  Two opponents determined to Victory.

The moments stretched uncomfortably. Reaction played in the shadows. I waited in Faith for Respond’s questions to have their answer.  Never budging, I waited in quiet determination. I allowed Hope to grow large in my spirit. Nothing fertilizes the Mind more than Hope. Hope for the good future laid before me. This version of Past once confronted and laid to rest, would boost Hope ten-fold. First, however answers hovered, as wisps of thin fog in a sultry morning mist. 

Past breathed heavily and glared my direction.

I stood in silence.

Past stepped toward me with arms embracing the nothingness that lay between.

I moved not a muscle.

Past gazed around and my stance wavered not.

At last, Past relinquished control and uttered so only my mind could hear, “I know you. Where you hurt. I know your mistakes. I visualize the bruises. I relish the hard steps you have taken. I want to hold you. I want you to look at Me and focus on what you cannot do. You cannot move forward if you visualize your Failings.  The hurt and the hard and the unfairness should be important. The bitterness of Past should taint the joy of the Future. I need you to look back and see Past.“

 My voice found, I declared with resolute of Spirit, “NO! I refuse.  I refuse Past. I refuse to look back and Regret. I refuse to remain broken. I LOOK ONWARD EVER and BACKWARD NEVER.”

“NO! I refuse.  I refuse Past. I refuse to look back and Regret. I refuse to remain broken. I LOOK ONWARD EVER and BACKWARD NEVER.”

Past’s lies spewed and I learned Past’s mode of operation, I felt the chiasmic shift within my Spirit.  Simultaneously, with a “blink of my eye second” I boldly gave my Declaration of Respond . . .”Onward ever, backward never. You have no hold on me Past. LEAVE me now.” 

With squalling grunts of disgust and a smirk of defeat, Past forcibly turned at the appearance of Oblivion. Oblivion appears when Truth speaks and it swallowed Past in one swift great move.  

The void of Past lingered sweetly yet ever so briefly.

A great rushing began. A stirring within my Spirit swirled to freely flow. Without the constrains of Past: Respond, Hope, Truth and Strength poured. The rush of attributes held back because of Past were many: Peace, Gentleness, Hope, Hope, and more Hope, Determination, Emotions, Ability, Joy, Freedom roared through my mind as if great ocean waves crashed a sandy shore. Past’s hold on me lessened until only faint fingerling impressions remained. The rush of Hope and Hope’s numerous allies filled my mind and those impressions of Past failings, void now of any power, vanished.

With transparency of mind restored, I brushed tears from my eyes, looked to the heavens and breathed in life. Enjoying the shock wave of Truth wash through my Spirit, I raised my hands and let my voice sing out forever more,  ”I refuse to look back and Regret. I refuse to remain broken. I LOOK ONWARD EVER and BACKWARD NEVER.”